Work Jokes in Hindi

A guide to understand the words of an Engineer

Never take the straight meaning from the words of an Engineer ! Sometimes the meaning may be different from what you get. Here is a quick guide to understand the Engineers –

cat-engineer

  1.  Engineer – “Horrible hack” ; Meaning – “Horrible hack that I didn’t write”
    Engineer  – “Temporary workaround” ; Meaning – “Horrible hack that I wrote”
  2. Engineer – “It’s broken”; Meaning – “There are bugs in your code”
    Engineer – “It has a few issues”; Meaning – “There are bugs in my code”
  3. Engineer – “Obscure”; Meaning – “Your code doesn’t have comments”
    Engineer – “Self-documenting”; Meaning – “My code doesn’t have comments”
  4. Engineer – “That’s why it’s an awesome language”; Meaning – “It’s my favourite language and it’s really easy to do something in it”
    Engineer – “You’re thinking in the wrong mindset”; Meaning – “It’s my favourite language and it’s really hard to do something in it”
  5. Engineer – “I can read this Perl script”; Meaning – “I wrote this Perl script”
    Engineer – “I can’t read this Perl script”; Meaning – “I didn’t write this Perl script”
  6. Engineer – “Bad structure”; Meaning – “Your code is badly organized”
    Engineer – “Complex structure”; Meaning – “My code is badly organized”
  7. Engineer – “Bug”; Meaning – “The absence of a feature I like”
    Engineer – “Out of scope”; Meaning – “The absence of a feature I don’t like”
  8. Engineer -“Clean solution”; Meaning – “It works and I understand it”
    Engineer – “We need to rewrite it”; Meaning – “It works but I don’t understand it”

You can read the complete guide here.

CEO Visits The Factory – Funny Office Joke

Ek company ka CEO apni ek factory mein visit karne gaya.

Wahaan usne dekha ki saare karmchari to kaam kar rahey the lekin ek yuvak ek kone me aaraam se khadaa mobile par message padh rahaa tha aur muskura rahaa tha.

CEO ko yah dekhkar aur bhi hairat hui ki uske aane ke baavjood bhi yuvak apne kaam par lagne kee bajaaye andekha karke vaise hee khada raha.

CEO ko gussa aa gaya. Usne yuvak ko bulaya aur poochha – “tumhen har maheene kitni salary milti hai ?”

Yuvak – “Rs. 6000/- sir !”

CEO ne jeb se 18000/- Rs. nikaale aur yuvak ko dete huye bola – “ye pakdo tumhari 3 maheene kee advance salary aur dafaa ho jaao yahaan se … tumhare jaise kaamchoron ke liye meri company mein koi jagah nahi hai !”

Yuvak ne chupchap rupaye liye aur muskuraata hua chala gaya.

Ab CEO ne waha kaam kar rahe logon se poochha – “ab koi mujhe bataayega ki ye aadmi kaun thaa aur kya kaam karta thaa ?”

Badi mushkil se apni hansi dabaate huye ek employee ne bataya – “Sir, woh DOMINO’s ka PIZZA DELIVERY BOY thaa ! Darasal aaj Supervisor sahab apna lunch box laana bhool gaye the !!!”

I Am The BOSS – Funny Office Joke in Hindi

Ek din ek office ke Boss ne apne cabin ke baahar ek poster lagaaya, jis par likha thaa –

“mai BOSS hoon … yah na bhooleyn ! … apni limit mein hee rahkar baat karen !”

Thodi der baad uski secretary ne aakar kahaa – “sir, aapki wife ka phone aaya thaa !”

Boss – “kya kahaa usne ?

Secretary – “unhone ne kahaa ki unheyn apna poster abhi ke abhi ghar mein waapas chaahiye !!!”

A Better Car Than BMW – Hindi Joke

A Very Funny Office Joke in Hindi -

Ek company ka Boss new BMW car khareed kar layaa.

Uske juniors ne jab use car khareedne kee badhaai dee to usne kahaa – “agar tum log kadee mehnat karoge, punctual rahoge, overtime karoge aur yahaan tak ki holiday ke din bhi kaam karoge to yakeen maano …

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Agle saal mai isse bhi badi aur behtar car khareed loonga … !!!”

Funny Replies – Two Hindi Jokes

Hindi Joke – 1

Lawyer – “jab qatil ne Banta ko chaaku maara, us waqt tum kahaan they ?”

Santa – “ghatnasthal se 23 foot 5 inch kee doori par …”

Lawyer – “wow ! kya feeta daal kar naapaa thaa ?”

Santa – “jee haan !”

Lawyer – “kyon ?”

Santa – “kyonki mujhe vishwas thaa ki adaalat mein koi na koi moorkh mujhse yah sawaal jaruur poochhega … !!!”

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Hindi Joke – 2

Inspector – “kya tumne bhaagte hue qaatil ko pakad liya ?”

Hawaldar – “nahi sir, par uski ungliyon ke nishaan le aaya hoon !”

Inspector – “chalo theek hai … kahaan hain nishaan ?”

Hawaldar – “sir, mere gaalon par !”

 

हम टिकट नहीं लेते … Bus Conductor Hindi Joke

DTC kee ek bus mein ek pahalwaan type aadmi charhaa.

Conductor ne ticket lene ke liye kahaa to pahalwan bola – “hum ticket nahi lete … ”

Pahalwan kee body dekhkar conductor kee aage kuchh bhi kahne kee himmat nahi hui.

Phir ye hua ki lagbhag roz hi wah pahalwaan usi bus mein safar karne laga aur conductor ke poochne par kah deta – “hum ticket nahi lete … ”

Ab to conductor ko bahut insult feel hone  lagi aur ek din usne bhi body banaane ke liye Gym jaana shuruu kar diya.

Dheere – dheere isi tarah 6 maheene gujar gaye. Ab conductor ka shareer bhi pahalwaan kee tarah strong ho gaya thaa.

Aur usne faisla kiya ki aaj pahalwaan ka ticket kaatkar hi maanega.

Jaise hee pahalwaan bus mein chadhaa, conductor bola – “ticket ?”

Pahalwaan roz kee tarah bola – “hum ticket nahi lete … ”

Itna sunte hee conductor ne gusse se aasteene chadhaai aur apne doley dikhaate hue bola – “tuu kyon ticket nahi letaa hai bey … ?”

Pahalwaan aaraam se bola – “isliye… kyonki hamne monthly pass banwa rakhaa hai … !!!”

Following the Procedure

बैंक के एक ग्राहक  ने क्लर्क से पूछा – “अगर मैं आज चेक जमा करता हूँ तो कितने दिन में क्लीयर होगा ?”

क्लर्क - “तीन दिन तो लगेंगे … ”

ग्राहक - “इतना टाइम क्यों लगेगा … जिस बैंक का चेक है वो तो सामने ही है ?”

क्लर्क - “procedure तो follow करना पड़ता है न सर … सोचिये यदि आप श्मशान  के गेट के बाहर ही मर जाते हैं तो पहले आपकी लाश को  घर ले के जायेंगे या वहीं जला देंगे ?”

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ग्राहक  बेहोश ….. !

 

 

 

रिहा कर दीजिए …

चोर - जज साहब मुझे रिहा कर दीजिए … !

जज - क्यों… क्या यह तुम्हारी पहली चोरी है ?

चोर - नहीं साहब, मैं तो अक्सर ही चोरी करता और जेल जाता रहता हूँ पर मेरे वकील साहब का यह पहला मुकदमा है … !

 

कल करे सो आज कर, आज करे सो अब

एक फैक्ट्री में उसके  मालिक ने अपने कर्मचारियों को प्रेरणा देने के लिए दीवारों पर जगह-जगह “कल करे सो आज कर, आज करे सो अब”  लिखवा दिया.

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एक हफ्ते बाद जब उसने मैनेजर से इस प्रेरक वाक्य के असर के बारे में पूछा तो मैनेजर ने बताया – “बहुत असर हुआ है सर….

एकाउन्टेंट 5 लाख रुपये लेकर भाग गया है…

जूनियर मैनेजर महिला सेक्रेटरी को लेकर चम्पत हो गया है…

तीन क्लर्क वेतन बढ़ाने की मांग कर रहे हैं…

मजदूर हड़ताल पर चले गए हैं और…

चपरासियों ने दूसरी नौकरी तलाश कर ली है !”